Dreams Are Just Dreams and Nightmares Are Reality
by Yu Yu Hakusho Lover
Summary: Harry suddenly froze as he felt someone behind him... Figured I'd at least get a 'hello' But if that's all you can manage is falling over and swearing, then I guess I'll just have to leave, the man who Harry swore he'd never see again, joked.
1. Default Chapter

Okay, I'm gonna try a new way of doing everything so here goes (and yes the summary way is new too):

Dreams Are Just Dreams and Nightmares Are Reality

Summary: Harry suddenly froze as he felt someone behind him… "Figured I'd at least get a 'hello!' But if that's all you can manage is falling over and swearing, then I guess I'll just have to leave," the man who Harry swore he'd never see again joked.

Pairings: None mentioned. Sirius/Harry may be implied but it's reader's choice/interpretation.

Warnings: Indication of abuse

Author Notes: I started this fic after I got 45 minutes of sleep instead of my normal 10 hours (it's summer, I sleep a lot). But I seem to write really well when I'm so tired, instead of when I'm wide awake since when I'm tired, I can remember sophisticated words like that one! ::snickers:: Well... I hope this is good!

* * *

A man of what appeared to be twenty-five, with beautiful green eyes and messy, unruly raven hair that was stuck to his face and dripping from the pouring rain, leaned down on his broom, flattening himself against the wood. "Just… a little… closer…" he grated out, trying to ignore the loud, ear piercing screams of the fans. "Almost… there…"

Another man, seeming of the same age, but with smoky-blue eyes and long, bleach-blonde hair that never seemed to move out of place, flattened himself against his broom as much as he could as he tried desperately to get close enough to catch the snitch. His team was in the lead with 430 points, while his archenemy's team had a threatening 410. It was all up to who caught the Golden Snitch. And he needed it!

"Faster… go faster, damn it!" Harry growled out as he tried to go faster. His fingers grazed against the wings… so close. Just a bit farther and he could…

"HARRY POTTER HAS CAUGHT THE GOLDEN SNITCH! THE GAME IS OVER! HARRY POTTER AND HIS TEAM WIN THE QUIDDITCH WORLD CUP!" Lee Jordan screamed, his voice echoing off of the stadium walls.

"I won… I won… I did it…" Harry whispered as he tried to keep in his state of dreaming, while strong hands shook him from his perfect world.

"Harry. Wake. Up!" Ron grit out between his teeth, about ready to drop his act of kindness if his best friend didn't reply soon.

The sixteen year-old's eyes slowly fluttered open, trying to get used to the light and groaned. "Bugger off, Ron…" Quickly, he pulled the blanket over his head just in time to block the pillow that crashed in his with face.

"Fine! That's the last time I try and wake you up! And I bet you don't even remember what today is," he said with a small pout.

"What is it?" he asked as he sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to dispel the sleep. _It's not Hermione's birthday… and it's not Ron's. It's not Christmas… too early for that…_ everything that it could have been ran through the tired boy's mind.

"Dumbledore told us that today, he had a surprise for us! But, because it would keep us up all night, he would show us tomorrow which is actually today." He suddenly furrowed his brow. "That didn't sound right…"

"Not at all," Harry replied with a snicker and sat up, grabbing some clothes. "I totally forgot. Can't be anything that great. And it can't be anything terrible, thank the gods. He'd tell us right away if it was." He pulled out a robe and some clothes to wear underneath it, as it always felt so weird to wear nothing underneath.

As if reading Harry's mind, Ron quickly inquired, "Wonder if any of the girls here are a bit kinky and wear nothing underneath." He gave a grin but quickly toppled over, falling off of Harry's bed and onto the floor with an over dramatized groan as a shirt hit him in the face.

"Drama queen!"

"Am not!" Ron quickly said as he shot up. "You hit me really hard with that… shirt? Okay, maybe I am." And with that, he grinned and scratched the back of his neck with his hand a bit sheepishly.

"You should be glad Seamus wasn't hear to see that. He'd never let you live it down."

"I know. He still won't stop about that Every-Flavored-Bean incident," Ron said with a sigh and collapsed onto Harry's bed, looking up at him while he changed.

"You know, it's a damn good thing I'm used to changing in front of other blokes or I could label you a perverted poof," Harry muttered as he changed his boxers. At first, changing in front of anyone when he had came to Hogwarts seemed to aghast and disgust him but now that he was in his sixth year, he was quite used to it.

"And what a poof I would be. Secretly lusting over the Boy-Who-Lived all these years. Unable to wait to pounce and finally claim him as my o-- Harry, I'm sorry!" Ron quickly said, the joke having gone too far. He had been playing around when he used Harry's famous nickname, but the sullen look on Harry's face showed him that he should have just quit.

"Whatever," he replied dryly and pulled his robes on over his clothes. "Just… never mind."

The redhead watched him, sitting up straight now with worry in his eyes. "I'm sorry! I was just playing around. I didn't think about it."

"Yeah. You didn't think. Well, then don't think about how I'm sick and tired of being a freaking hero while people are scared to come near me. Don't think about how I was dragged from any chances of a normal life into being a teenage hero, who's going to die before he's even 20 probably. Don't think about how everything and every problem on this god damn planet is my fault and is thrown onto my shoulders!" He snapped and then sighed as he looked at his terrified friend. "I'm sorry but… just… god, just don't call me that. I want to be 'Harry Potter - The-Boy-Who-Everyone-Likes-For-Him-Not-Because-Of-Stupid-Titles.'"

"Understood," Ron muttered under his voice. He felt an extension of what Harry felt. It may not have been the complete force but being friends with Harry, and having gone through what he had made him almost famous, and not always in the good way. Even before he had met Harry, he had been looked down upon because of his name. People who had lived close to him wouldn't let him play with their children when he was young or would yell at him to go home if he had been walking around during the day, and all because of his last name. So he may not have known completely but he knew at least slightly, and it was all the support he could give to Harry. "Let's… just go. 'Mione's in the common room and is probably ticked."

"Shit. She's been waiting all this time?" He asked as he quickly grabbed his wand and shoved his glasses on.

"Yes. And the twenty minutes it took to wake you up."

Harry groaned. "She's gonna kill us!" And he quickly ran out of his room, followed by Ron.

Hermione was indeed sitting in the common room, tapping her foot on the floor. When she heard the footsteps and turned around to see the two, a glare was shot at them. "Nice of you to finally come. I've been waiting for over half an hour. And Harry, I'm not trying to be a perfectionist here but wouldn't shoes help?"

The teen looked down at his feet and sighed, hanging his head low and trotting his way back to his room to emerge moments later. "Why do I think it's just not my day?"

Ron was about ready to talk before Hermione stomped down on his foot.

"Come on," she said as she looked at Ron with a small grin, and watched him hop around slightly with an injured foot.

"Bloody hell, that hurt! You're not wearing high heels, are you!?"

"Maybe." And with that, she headed out of the room.

Harry and Ron cautiously followed, as all the news they had heard in the past years from Dumbledore's office hadn't usually been good and they had no idea what to expect.

The walk to the headmaster's office was mostly uneventful, except for the few pushes and jokes Ron and Harry shot at each other. And as they neared the office's entrance, Hermione blinked in confusion.

"What're we supposed to do?" She asked with a raised brow. "He said to come to his office. And I don't know the password."

"Either he's getting old or he has a plan…" Harry said as he tried to think of what the password would be.

"Going to have to go with the first," Ron said and then suddenly began to say any sweet that came to his mind.

The other two looked at him with questioning eyes, which forced him to look down sheepishly.

"Well… it's usually a sweet so I just thought…" he grinned slightly.

"Oh. That makes sense," Hermione said with a blink and then began to say any sweet that came to mind also, and after a moment, Harry joined in on the insane guessing game.

Finally, it opened when Ron said, "Chocolate covered licorice!"

"That sounds gross," Harry said as they headed into the office, and could almost feel Hermione nod behind him.

"It's actually good for the first bite," Dumbledore said from his placement at the desk. "After that, it's quite sickening. But it does last a long time."

The three walked in and looked around.

"Please, have a seat," the headmaster said with a nod towards three chairs that were around his desk.

The teens quickly placed themselves, while gazing at Dumbledore with a questioning look.

"Ah yes. You're probably wondering why I have asked you to come here?"

"Yeah…" Harry said quietly as he looked around the room. It felt almost as if someone was watching them.

Dumbledore cleared his throat, quickly attracting Harry's attention back to him. "Well, it is certainly good news. You remember that a few months ago, they captured Pettigrew and used the truth serum on him, which then got Sirius' charges dismissed?"

"What good that did," the teen in the middle of his friends said and slumped down in the chair. He knew it was his fault his godfather was dead, but if all Dumbledore was going to do was replay events that had already happened, he didn't want to be there. _Did I just hear a covered up chuckle?_ He quickly thought to himself as he looked around the room. With a glance at his friends, he knew he wasn't the only one who had heard it.

"Well, Mr. Potter, it did a lot of good," Dumbledore continued. "As now, Sirius can walk free."

"If he were alive!" Harry suddenly shouted at his headmaster in rage. Why was he doing this?! Why was he making him remember memories that made him think he didn't deserve to live?!

"Calm down, Harry. Calm down." He leaned back into his chair a bit lazily. "You can come out now."

Harry froze as he felt someone behind him. Rather quickly, he turned around in his chair. It proved to be too quickly, in fact, as he fell onto the ground. But that wasn't what surprised him. It was who he was looking up at.

"Bloody hell…" Ron whispered and Hermione could only gape at the figure.

"Figured I'd at least get a 'hello!' But if that's all you can manage is falling over and swearing, then I guess I'll just have to leave," the man who Harry swore he'd never see again, joked.

"SIRIUS!" Harry suddenly yelled and bolted straight up, tackling his godfather to the ground in a strong hug.

"Ow. Maybe you went a little overboard on the welcoming," Sirius breathed out but returned the hug, just not as strongly as Harry hugged him.

"How? Why? When? But… You're back!" He buried his head into the only living family member he had left who actually cared for him and couldn't help the tears that fell.

Sirius gently put a hand to Harry's head and ran it through his wild hair that reminded him so much of James. "I've missed you."

"I-I've missed you too," he whispered and clutched at Sirius' clothes. He had thought that he was dead, and he had thought it was his fault. So many emotions were running through his head - sadness, anger, happiness, relief, and guilt. With a small sigh, he tried to stop the tears by biting on his lower lip but it didn't help any, and the enamel of his teeth were soon pink.

He slowly slipped his free arm around the teen's lower waist, and his hand gently rubbed soothing circles on Harry's back while he made small shushing noises that always seemed to work.

"It can't be true," Harry whispered after a few moments. "How did you get back? Where were you? What was it like?"

"I'll explain everything after we go back to the Gryffindor Common Room. I haven't been there in so long," Sirius said as he slowly stood, grabbing Harry's hand and helping him up.

He nodded and looked at his best friends and his headmaster, suddenly remembering they were there and he gave a weak smile. Ron was looking totally scared like he had seen a ghost but at the same time was beyond happy, while Hermione was crying into Ron's chest from happiness and Dumbledore's eyes had the certain twinkle that let happiness take over anyone that saw it, which he had been missing for a while.

* * *

After the three got back to the common room and Sirius was brought up a plate full of tons of foods that he insisted on sharing with the trio since they had skipped breakfast, an uneasy silence filled the room that was only broken by chewing noises.

Sirius looked at his godson. "You look thin. Eat more." He pushed some more food on Harry's plate.

"But I'm full," Harry said with a sigh as he played with the new food. "And you never answered my questions."

"What q-- oh. Those. Yes well…" The black haired man took a deep breath and his eyes looked into Harry's.

It was only then that the teen noticed his godfather's eyes had many more shadows and much more distress than before, even after he had just gotten out of Azkaban.

"I was at a place where time stood still more or less. It had everyone who had ever died and who wasn't reincarnated. I saw your parents, even that Cedric kid you told me about. It's totally black, except for the people who walk around. There were so many… I don't think they saw only the black because they seemed all happy. I tried to talk to James and Lily but I guess because of the way I went there… the way I was just pushed into it, I was stuck between death and life." He took a ragged breath and ran a hand through his hair.

The three looked at him with wide eyes, and Harry slowly let all the emotion be buried inside of himself as he knew if he didn't go emotionless, he'd start crying again or do something that he would later be embarrassed of. The Boy-Who-Lived was a hero, not a blubbering idiot.

"It was hard to be there with no one to talk to. I tried to walk over and just put my hand on James' shoulder but it fell right through, like I was a ghost or something. Imagine that. A half alive man haunting a ghost." With those words, he let out a laugh but it was bitter and full of sadness. "One day, I just heard someone say, 'You don't deserve to be here. No one who would risk his own life for someone only to die and go through his torture deserves to go through this.' And then I was rising. It was really weird. Then everything went completely, totally black and the next thing I know, I'm on the floor of the room thing." When he felt the three stares on him, he grinned. "It's been almost a year. I forgot a lot of things." Truth be told, he had forgotten Hermione and Ron's names when he had first came back but was lucky he had remembered, or he knew he'd have two pissed off children to deal with. "Anyways, I'm an old man." He shrugged.

Harry frowned. "No you're not!"

Sirius gave a small smile. "Think what you want but there's always lies."

The three teens sighed, then Ron and Hermione looked at Harry. "We're going to go up to my room. Hermione said she'd help me on some of the Potions homework. That entire four feet of parchment about that one potion is insane."

With a nod, Hermione sighed. "For once, I have to agree. There's no way even I can write four feet of parchment. Unless…"

"We write really big!" Ron said with a grin. "Okay. Yeah. You guys have bonding time." He stood and headed up to his room, Hermione following behind him.

Sirius couldn't hold back the sigh. "So, the old fool still hasn't lightened up?"

"Not at all. I'm surprised we all got into the class. Ron barely did… and Hermione suckered him into taking it instead of rightfully snubbing his nose at it," Harry said with a small grin.

He gave a nod and smiled. Then after a small silence, he raised a brow. "What happened during the year?"

The raven-haired boy sighed, having wanted to avoid the subject. "Well… Voldemort raided Hogwarts during one of the major Quidditch matches. At least, his minions did. They captured over ten students and hurt over fifty others. And, of course, I got hit with the Cruciatus curse, which caused me to fall off of my broom onto the ground below. It was a 125 foot drop, and it rendered me unconscious. Ron told me after I woke up from a forty-seven day coma that Lucius had been the one to use the curse and then he used the killing curse on me."

Sirius' eyes widened. "I knew I should have killed him when we went to school," he muttered to himself.

"Well, Madame Pomfrey said the killing curse would only have put me into a week coma, at most; the rest of the coma was from falling on my head and breaking my neck."

His eyes widened even more. "W-Who," he stopped to clear his throat. "Who was taken?"

Harry sighed. "Neville, Collin, Seamus, three Hufflepuffs, two Ravenclaws, one Slytherin who was friends with a muggle-born Ravenclaw, and six other Gryffindors from different years," he said quietly with no emotion.

"Really? …Wow. That's fifteen people," he murmured quietly.

"Yeah, well, Ginny was struck with a small bit of the killing curse. I guess most of it reflected off of me because of my mum's blood is like a shield, and Ginny almost died. At least that's what Ron told me… she barely pulled through." In Harry's eyes, it was all his fault.

"I can't believe it," Sirius began. "You should give yourself up to Voldemort," he finished after a bit of thought.

His eyes widened. "W-What?" he asked in disbelief.

"It's your fault. It's always your fault. First Cedric, then me living in what was similar to Hell for a year, and now this. You're just a freak who deserves to die, and stop causing everyone trouble."

The teen just stared at the man who was the closest to a father and a brother that he had ever had. Sirius was one of his best friend's and the only one to truly understand him, but here he was, telling him that he deserved to die…

Suddenly, Sirius was drifting away from the stunned Harry.

"Wait! Sirius!" Harry screamed, even though he felt betrayed. He weakly wondered if it was sweat or tears on his cheeks…

He suddenly groaned and shifted around in the sheets, slamming his hand down on the nightstand next to his bed as he tried to blindly turn off the alarm clock. After a few futile attempts, he just sat up and turned it off then glared at it, seeing as it was only 6:30 in the morning.

"Man… that was so real," he whispered as he put the alarm clock back on the table and placed his face into his palms. After a few moments, he took out a journal he kept under a loose floorboard with his wand and invisibility cloak for safe keeping. Slowly, he flipped to a blank page and grabbed a quill and some ink then started to express his thoughts and dreams into the journal.

Tuesday, July 30th, 1997

I've had yet another dream. It was so real… I could even feel when I fell to the ground, tackling Sirius. We talked for a while, as he had come back. I doubt he ever will though, but it's gotten me wondering what was behind that veil. Why didn't I just grab it and yank it back? It wasn't like I would have fallen through…  
Sirius said it had everyone who had ever died, even my parents but he couldn't speak to them as he wasn't living or dead, but they were. He also said it was pitch black, except for the spirits but he thought that they could see things, as they were always happy.  
But… then he said that I don't deserve to have friends or anything, and that I should give myself up to Voldemort. Even if it was a dream, I think he's right… I'm tired of everyone getting hurt because of me. Maybe I should just die. But then everyone is going to die because of Voldemort…  
Why don't I get any choice in this?! It's my life! I don't want to be the hero! I don't want the world's weight on my shoulders! I'm not even an adult!  
Maybe I should mail Ron and tell him I'm sorry again. This is the fourth dream in the past two weeks where I've dreamt we were able to save Ginny. It's my fault. It's always my fault… It's not fair. I saved her once before so why couldn't I again?  
I better go make breakfast before Uncle Vernon wakes up. If I don't have everything ready and perfect… well, I'll get more bruises than I already have and I already can't move without hurting.  
I'll write more later.  
Why can't I just never wake up and live with Sirius and my parents forever?

He closed the book and hid it, along with the quill and ink again under the loose floorboard, then headed down to the kitchen where dreams were just dreams, and the never-ending nightmares were reality.

* * *

How'd I do? It's my first ever HP fic that I've written all by myself and actually finished. So can you review? I mean, it took me over 3 hours of my life within that 21 hours, even if you don't like the story! Just press that button, sign in or write in your name and write your comments. It takes about 2-3 minutes, tops and the encouragement will help me write better. Please? ::puppy eyes::

P.S. You guys want a sequel?


	2. Author Note

Just wanted to tell everyone that keeps checking on this story but not my author page that I have posted a sequel called 'My Guardian Angel.' I'll be updating it every so often, so... yeah! Check it out!

-Cristy


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